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Musings on Heaven:

February 1, 2015

Have you ever wondered about why the Judeo-Christian heaven so resembles North Korea with its endless chanting and adoration of its blessed leader? At least for those Muslim men who die in battle, they get to eat and fornicate endlessly. For Muslim women however, well, they are just screwed.

Statistically and historically,  the number of those “humans” with immortal souls (as maintained by most Christians), who have died in the womb through miscarriages, death of the mother or during childbirth is somewhere between ten and twenty times the number of live births. These soul-endowed humans not having the opportunity to do anything prohibited by God, supposedly end up in heaven. So, when the elect pass on to their just rewards, they find a heaven overwhelmingly filled with fetuses. Catholic theology deals with this horrifying image by segregating that mass of helpless individuals into “Limbo” so that the saved can avoid the shock.

In Heaven one spends all eternity chanting hymns and staring and the great one in adoration, like endless reruns of Seinfeld. Or, in the case of Islam endlessly fornicating with the same 72 virgins who of course after the first couple of weeks would no longer be so. Wouldn’t one, in very short order, want to get out-of-town so to speak? Is there a really difference between Heaven and Hell? Are we all simply being punished for existing? Have we been tricked?

Is it true that those who die with the most money win? If so, what do they win? Many non-Catholic and Orthodox Christian sects believe that those with the most toys get better seats in Heaven’s arena. I could see where would have some appeal in a fetus filled stadium. But what could possibly be the appeal in being imprisoned in a private suite overlooking an endless Superbowl. Is there any difference between that and hell? Imagine automobile, Insurance and fast food commercials without end. Jean-Paul Sartre would love it.

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